Put on your lipstick if:
- You love burgers….
- and everything fabulous
- You’re jealous of your grandmother’s bingo game
Stay home in your t-shirt if:
- You’re scared of being “surprise kissed” by a drag queen
- Bingo is for losers
- Your parents are in town
The beautiful Miss Sammy and Carol Lee host the only drag queen bingo night in Orlando on Tuesdays on Church street. In New York or Atlanta, this may be happening on every corner, but here in Orlando, it was quite a find. Just before 7, the ladies start passing out multiple bingo cards to everyone in the restaurant.
First up is STRAIGHT bingo.
You know how to play. You fill your card up and down, across, diagonal, or four corners and shout BINGO and you win. Of course, the Florida law on bingo rules is that if you are one away from a bingo, you are required to shout out “it’s on, bitches!”
They give lovely prizes like $5 gift certificates and inappropriate toys. I should mention that we went with our normal Tuesday night trivia group with the addition of Dave’s mum (they’re british). She was a trooper.
Then it’s time for GAY bingo! Here are the rules:
- When a “B” is called, the ladies perform a broadway song
- When an “N” is called, they move on to the next number
- When an “I” is called, they ask a never have I ever such as “never have I ever been naked in public” (I didn’t watch to see whether Dave’s mom drank).
- When a “G” is called, it’s time for GAY TRIVIA! All the questions were about broadway. Charlie let me down.
- When an “O” is called, everyone in the room fakes an orgasm (a table near the front also had a mother present. She was asked to call her O onstage. Super not awkward).
After that it becomes a bit of a blur. We ordered s’mores for dessert.
Next up was CHURCH bingo. No four corners and they move really fast. You have time to play one card instead of four. It was fast paced and exciting, which may have lead to Dave knocking his full soda all over his mother.
The waiter kindly refilled his glass with some insurance this time.
There is a final round that seemed to be some hybrid bingo. The evening rounds out with picture time!
Since the ladies don’t get paid to be there, they work on tips. Understanding what it’s like to be a struggling performer, Charlie generously handed out a $10 bill. Being thankful, one of the ladies touched her cheek for a kiss, and, as a good sport, Charlie leaned in for a tiny peck. At the last second, she turned her head in a sneak attack and got him on the lips! Completely stunned, the entire table burst out in laughter. Naughty queens!
We liked it so much, we’ll see you next Tuesday!